Friday, June 12, 2009

Wave

During the first day of my class in MATH331, Professor Smith asked the class a very basic question, "What are waves?", and hell know what waves are. Waves are just wave, what else do you need to define??

And after the whole semester of doing the subject, until today, just now, actually I could feel what waves are (and furthermore, know what is it), and it was a critical one!

This was happened like 30 minutes ago, when I trying to cross the road, where the traffic light just turns green, and I just try to walk faster, and I saw a couple, who were holding hand and crossing the road from the other side, and for hell, I thought that was her, but just turns out that's not her. I should be glad that wasn't her, but GOD DAMN, I thought I have gave up her already, but it turns out that in the deep of my heart, the deep deep side of my heart, she is still there!!!

At that moment, it is like a high frequency of shock wave, shot right through my heart, I can feel the wave so deeply!!! I was actually so hurt when I thought that was her, and I feel so safe when I realize that I was wrong....and actually I do feel hate about this kind of feeling!

Some of my friend told me, that she already got a good boyfriend, and I know that I have no more hope left, even from the beginning, that's why I give up!!! However, why the hell I still feel hurt when I thought they both appear in front of me!

For the reason, I do feel lost about this....I thought I have gave up, I thought I will never meet her again.....I thought I will not care about this anymore...but after today, I think I must leave as soon as possible....

I worry that someday, if I happen to meet them, I will cry.... (oh, please don't let this happen!!)

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