Friday, October 31, 2008

Told you, I'm back!!!



I was suppose to be someone who love to write, but ever since I study uni, I don't feel like writting anything.





I was suppose to be a guy who is happy all the time just because of a small little thing, but eversince I lost my hope, I don't feel interested in things anymore.



However, since when I have became like this??




Who has lost his mind and aim....



I though I was back



So I once again behave like I use to be....





I thought I can find myself back when I did these...



However, I can feel my inside is different... I'm still lost.....





I was trying to find The Inside back....





But, just to be honest, I still lost....





So, I try to work backward...try to remember myself.....



While I look at those photos (thanks again, Caryn Sweetie!) , I can feel The Inside is coming back, bit by bit......





I try to chat more with him,




and with him..




also, with her....




Of course with him, too.




And them, as well!!



We chat about the pass, everything....

And, there was a moment I saw myself in the mirror...

just the same way as I did, long time ago...



I can see this....



and this, those blow water time.....



Also this......and many many others.....

I'm still confuse, is that really The Inside I'm looking for???



I feel tired....

I'm really tired.......

So I sleep....a Dead sleep......a long long dead sleep....

And I woke up....just like last time where I have the same dead sleep.....

Was that a dream??? Am I losing myself, once again???

NO!!!!

I can feel that I'm BACK!!!! From the Inside to the Outside!!!

I'M BACK!

I'M BACK!!

I'M BACK!!!

Do you know how I wanted to shout this out, for all the moment when I feel lost???? Do you know how much I appreciate that I can be back???

I've been lost for more than a year, I've been losing my aim, my hope, my every single motivation..... Do you know that I really feel like crying, not for all those sadness, but for the excitement of getting myself back!!!!

Friends, thank you very much.....I love you all, you all make me back!!!!

There was a moment I was planing to give up myself.... there was a moment, that I really really wanted to give up myself....

Do you know that when all my life have only responsibility to keep myself not to die, how would that feel????

Once again, thankyou so so much!!!!

I've found myself back, and I will appreciate that, always!!!!

I'M BACK!!!!

“活着本来就不是一个人的事”

" Living is not a personal business, always"

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