I was trying to read through the solution of the assignments and test yesterday, and guess what, I find it pretty boring, so I open my explorer, and go to wikipedia, and guess what? I type up "irrational number" in the search bar, and start reading the history about irrational number....
Oh, damn, I said I have lost my faith, but still I am looking for stuff like this...I think I am just feeling too down by screwing up the paper on friday, I think I am fine now.
One more paper, then I am going home!!!
Guess what, I am planning to go for a walk in uni with Jacky, a real walk, try to walk around the place which I have no chance to go, like W19A, and Maquarie School of Management etc, and I plan to do some video shooting on thursday, hopefully this work out~!
Alright, is time to do work, working for my one last paper on my 3rd year Math~~ Then I am going for 4th year!!!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I'm totally off!
Do you know when a guy is losing interest in the things he was so addicted for so many years, what is so weird about this?? And he keep on download some random love movie, and watching them one by one, and not bother to study for the one last paper he has on Wednesday...
He probably losing his faith for doing the stuff he is doing right now, and at the same time, he is homesick, and doing all those weird stuff which he thought he would never do, but he did. For example, he keep on searching some commercial which is from Malaysia, and dreaming something which is not a dream, some cool, cruel and crazy things, listening the same song again and again, shouting the bad words for no reason, and start talking to himself when he doesn't even know what is he frustrated for.
Well, he is such a failure...and shits keep happening to him....OH, DAMN IT!!!
He probably losing his faith for doing the stuff he is doing right now, and at the same time, he is homesick, and doing all those weird stuff which he thought he would never do, but he did. For example, he keep on searching some commercial which is from Malaysia, and dreaming something which is not a dream, some cool, cruel and crazy things, listening the same song again and again, shouting the bad words for no reason, and start talking to himself when he doesn't even know what is he frustrated for.
Well, he is such a failure...and shits keep happening to him....OH, DAMN IT!!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
When you trying to make your dream come true, there are prices to pay!
Obviously, I am in the middle of my final exam now, still got 2 papers to go, one on tomorrow, another one on 2nd of December, which is fairly much towards the ending of my 3 years university life (well, I will still go for my summer school, but those units I am going to take are just some random units which allow me to graduate my degree). And, the paper tomorrow is the toughest paper among all, and I know I shouldn't be blogging, because I still have no idea about Ring & Module, even for the second when I am writing this, although they are bloody amazing!
Well, the reason why am I going to write this post in this very time, it's because I finally can feel the price that I paid for making my own dream come true. From the day I choose to go for my dream (trying to work as mathematician), I already know there are prices to pay for doing this, and I've spent almost all of my time in this semester, doing my assignments, and most of the time, my mind is just trying to complete the assignment before the due date, and it just took off my social life.
Also, from this busy life, I actually forget about my age, and I even have time lack about my age, some of my friend is already married, and I am so surprise, because I thought I am just about 5 years away from my high school, which telling me I am still young, but in fact I am not quite. Coming through 2009, actually telling me the time have changed, for me and my friends, some of them still behave like what they do in the past 5 years, but most of them have already changed, and going for another life which is so different from myself, who was thinking to continue his study without thinking about the alternating life he could go for. In fact, the exam tomorrow, the toughest paper among all the 3rd year math units, its the key of continuing my study or going for my working life. If I failed the paper tomorrow, this would be the last time of mine doing maths, and I feel a bit tired to do the math already. Well, I can't tell it's because of the exam, or just a primitive emotion of mine, and I actually didn't put much effort during the semester as I did in last semester.
“花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝.”
this is the phrase which I put as my screen saver of my phone, and the direct meaning is "when the flower bloom, if you like it, take it! And if you didn't, please don't feel regret when the flower is gone, and you just taking off the plants which just meaningless", which in short meaning "Don't miss the chance!". Yes, everyday, I am telling myself "Don't miss the chance!", I have shouted this to myself so many time, and yet I didn't do it, and now I just call these chances as the prices for making my dream come true (and the dream is way too far, still).
All this time, I knew there are always prices to pay, and tonight, is the first time, ever, I actually can feel the price is way too hurt for me......and I might not have the chance anymore....
Alright, just try to write something out, since I am so stress, and at the same time, feeling so hopeless...
Well, the reason why am I going to write this post in this very time, it's because I finally can feel the price that I paid for making my own dream come true. From the day I choose to go for my dream (trying to work as mathematician), I already know there are prices to pay for doing this, and I've spent almost all of my time in this semester, doing my assignments, and most of the time, my mind is just trying to complete the assignment before the due date, and it just took off my social life.
Also, from this busy life, I actually forget about my age, and I even have time lack about my age, some of my friend is already married, and I am so surprise, because I thought I am just about 5 years away from my high school, which telling me I am still young, but in fact I am not quite. Coming through 2009, actually telling me the time have changed, for me and my friends, some of them still behave like what they do in the past 5 years, but most of them have already changed, and going for another life which is so different from myself, who was thinking to continue his study without thinking about the alternating life he could go for. In fact, the exam tomorrow, the toughest paper among all the 3rd year math units, its the key of continuing my study or going for my working life. If I failed the paper tomorrow, this would be the last time of mine doing maths, and I feel a bit tired to do the math already. Well, I can't tell it's because of the exam, or just a primitive emotion of mine, and I actually didn't put much effort during the semester as I did in last semester.
“花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝.”
this is the phrase which I put as my screen saver of my phone, and the direct meaning is "when the flower bloom, if you like it, take it! And if you didn't, please don't feel regret when the flower is gone, and you just taking off the plants which just meaningless", which in short meaning "Don't miss the chance!". Yes, everyday, I am telling myself "Don't miss the chance!", I have shouted this to myself so many time, and yet I didn't do it, and now I just call these chances as the prices for making my dream come true (and the dream is way too far, still).
All this time, I knew there are always prices to pay, and tonight, is the first time, ever, I actually can feel the price is way too hurt for me......and I might not have the chance anymore....
Alright, just try to write something out, since I am so stress, and at the same time, feeling so hopeless...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Mood has changed....
I still remember last year, when someone ask me "which math do you like???", I did answer him that "every math are interesting". However, up to today, actually, there is some math which I don't really like, maybe is because the math I am studying today is different from last year, and yeah! I do feel "hate" some of the math I am studying, but I won't mention here, maybe is just because of the exam.....
And this is my exam timetable:
MATH332 20/11/2009 1:50pm
MATH339 25/11/2009 1:50pm
MATH338 27/11/2009 9:20am
MATH336 02/12/2009 9:20am
Well, I find the timetable is better than last semester, at least I don't have any consecutive exam, but MATH338 and MATH339 are fairly close to each other, and those 2 are the subjects which I worried most. Hope my plan work out this time!
All right, it's time to work!! Good Night(?)!!
And this is my exam timetable:
MATH332 20/11/2009 1:50pm
MATH339 25/11/2009 1:50pm
MATH338 27/11/2009 9:20am
MATH336 02/12/2009 9:20am
Well, I find the timetable is better than last semester, at least I don't have any consecutive exam, but MATH338 and MATH339 are fairly close to each other, and those 2 are the subjects which I worried most. Hope my plan work out this time!
All right, it's time to work!! Good Night(?)!!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thanks for the 64kbs internet.....
Last Friday morning, I finished my data allowance for the month, it won't reload until 22nd of November. Great, I have used about $270 for my Internet fees again!
And you know what happened during the weekend with 64kbs Internet??? I start playing the forum again, which is the very same forum I use to play during my SPM exam in 2004, and yes, history repeated, I am back to the forum, also during my exam period!!
And thanks to the 64kbs, I actually have the confident back again, like what I have during SPM exam. Good, at least I won't be stressing around and start panic! And yeah, I am confident, but there isn't a thing in my brain about MATH332, and yet I'm still surfing the forum, and chatting about "Naruto" and "Bleach"!
Haih, I don't know what is wrong with me now, been spending time reading comic in the lab today, but also finish reading the notes, and now I don't feel like studying...Is it because I was having a busy semester, that's why I am not in the mood in study now, since now I am technically free, since I only got 1 exam this week, and compare to last week, I got 3 assignments and 1 test, so I should be quite relax this week....that just doesn't sound right....
I am really looking forward the coming holiday, although I only got 1 month, then I will be back for my summer course.
Internet with limited data allowance, I never liked you!!!
And you know what happened during the weekend with 64kbs Internet??? I start playing the forum again, which is the very same forum I use to play during my SPM exam in 2004, and yes, history repeated, I am back to the forum, also during my exam period!!
And thanks to the 64kbs, I actually have the confident back again, like what I have during SPM exam. Good, at least I won't be stressing around and start panic! And yeah, I am confident, but there isn't a thing in my brain about MATH332, and yet I'm still surfing the forum, and chatting about "Naruto" and "Bleach"!
Haih, I don't know what is wrong with me now, been spending time reading comic in the lab today, but also finish reading the notes, and now I don't feel like studying...Is it because I was having a busy semester, that's why I am not in the mood in study now, since now I am technically free, since I only got 1 exam this week, and compare to last week, I got 3 assignments and 1 test, so I should be quite relax this week....that just doesn't sound right....
I am really looking forward the coming holiday, although I only got 1 month, then I will be back for my summer course.
Internet with limited data allowance, I never liked you!!!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Recently....
I have been feeling down recently, the math seem too hard to me after the mid break. Maybe that's because I have been spending the mid break reading comics instead of reading notes.
Well, it is logical that I find the math are hard, in fact I have been doing last minute work all along in the semester, which actually against the plan in my mind during the beginning of the semester. Yes, I know that's my fault.
There were so many times that I feel like giving up doing math, since they are too difficult to me. Also, I can actually do the assignment by myself, which start to worry me, because how am I going to do the work in Honours next year, when I couldn't even do an assignment just by myself?
Also, I actually don't feel "hurt" when I lost marks in the test, also in the assignment, all my mind was thinking just to finish up the stuff as soon as possible...
I think I am working things in the wrong direction, have been trying to pull myself back to the right track, but it doesn't work well since there aren't many time left. And, I am so so so so so so nervous about the coming exam, especially the Ring Theory part in Math338 and Chaos part in Math332, Rings are too hard, and I am lost in the Chaos, even if there are topics which similar with Math339.
Oh my, this is really difficult semester, and I only got 3 weeks left before the first exam!!! Wish me luck, because I do need it!!!
Well, it is logical that I find the math are hard, in fact I have been doing last minute work all along in the semester, which actually against the plan in my mind during the beginning of the semester. Yes, I know that's my fault.
There were so many times that I feel like giving up doing math, since they are too difficult to me. Also, I can actually do the assignment by myself, which start to worry me, because how am I going to do the work in Honours next year, when I couldn't even do an assignment just by myself?
Also, I actually don't feel "hurt" when I lost marks in the test, also in the assignment, all my mind was thinking just to finish up the stuff as soon as possible...
I think I am working things in the wrong direction, have been trying to pull myself back to the right track, but it doesn't work well since there aren't many time left. And, I am so so so so so so nervous about the coming exam, especially the Ring Theory part in Math338 and Chaos part in Math332, Rings are too hard, and I am lost in the Chaos, even if there are topics which similar with Math339.
Oh my, this is really difficult semester, and I only got 3 weeks left before the first exam!!! Wish me luck, because I do need it!!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
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